i am finally at peace with myself. this picture of Edward Norton speaks volumes; so tranquil, so spiritual. in a way, it epitomises the way i'm feeling. those pictures are testements that i sld never have to feel bad about myself, and i should be nothing but grateful and appreciative for all the love. sometimes i wonder if i deserve all of it. sometimes i grumble at the lack of it. but this is what i sld be feeling: at ease with myself and whatever happens, happens.

i do not think i am one who ask for much. yet sometimes seeing how much i have puts me to shame. health, finance, friends.

i thought i would cry, but i didnt. but i truely am overwhelmed. thank you to everybody who cares.

i shall become a new version of me, a better state of being. this is a personal promise. and when that day comes when i feel confident and worthy enough, i shall make that leap of faith.



i went to watch The Queen with Quin today. it's a fantastic show and i have not chatted so in depth with someone bout a movie in quite some time. thanks Quin. if not for the irritating uncle behind who laughs at the smallest, most inappropriate moments, this cld have been quite a flawless cinematic experience. Stephen Frears is quite a bravo director. sensitive, insightful, and witty, he told the story of Queen Elizabeth's reaction after Princess Diana's death with depth and bravados. and the script played a dire role. if it werent for the understated, smart, and sharp lines, this could very well turn into a OTT political vehicle. it was done with "dignity", and that's how they like to do it. and of cos, Helen Mirren. from anguish to calm composure in a mere 1 sec /same shot, she is the heart and soul of the movie. i like the way she's vulnerable yet strong, compassionate yet indifferent to papparazzi.there were a couple of times she could have fall into the pitfalls of a long-drawn soliloquey, but she didnt. (credits in due to the script) it was understated, and refined to the way she walked and wore her spectacles. just plain great.

a promising premise, a great script, lovely performances. why dont they make more of such movies?