what do you want to do?

Sometimes, when people ask me what do i want to do in life, the first things that come to my mind are usually the places i wana travel, the artistes i want to catch live, and the teevee shows i want to watch.

there's many shows i'd love to watch, and i feel less of a human now cos i haven seen some of these iconic productions. In celebration of the Emmys, here's a list in no particular order, sorta like a resolution list, to remind myself:

- SEX AND THE CITY. i feel like a loser for not having caught it.
- The Golden Girls. because of Betty White
- Breaking Bad. so much rave for Bryan Cranston
- Modern Family. touted to be the best comedy in states now
- BUFFY. nuff said.
- FRINGE 2
- GOSSIP GIRL 3
- ugly betty. only for Michael Urie and V. Williams
- The Wire
- The Simpsons!!!
- Battlestar Galatica
- catch up on PROJECT RUNWAY =(
- rewatch Felicity and Gilmore Girls and Alias.

disconnect

united in that moment
of music.

that when it ends,
so does our shared conscious.

the world jolts back to reality-
a reality.
a disparate and disconnected
superficiality.

it's about as much as we ever shared.
that when the party ends,
and the lights come on,
all that remains
are the spills
the leftovers
the silence.

LOST

"Most believe that what's done is done; you can't change fate, no matter how hard you try. And those who challenge what is destined will always be met with disappointment, for fate has a way of charting its own course. But before one surrenders to the hands of destiny, one might consider the power of the human spirit and the force that lies in one's own free will." - Michael Emerson, in his voice over for LOST S6ep00.





sadly, i have neither the courage to challenge destiny, nor the power of the spirit to decide my own free will.

how pathetic.

PRECIOUS

Lee Daniel's directorial debut dug many issues and laid them bare for us to examine: child abuse, incest, education, white supremacy, idolatory & celebrity, body image, illiteracy, HIV, sexuality, and even black humour.

It also leaves you with many learning points to take home: the distaste towards oily fried food with pork, a sense of security with our lifestyles, improved black vocabulary and grammar, hope for a better future, a feeling of undeserving bliss due to the geography in which we're born in, etc. but for me, the personal take-away message was how a mother's love for her children can push someone to achieve greater dreams.

There's 2 very different portrayal of motherhood in Precious. There's Mo'nique's Mary, a chain-smoking and abusive mother who lied her way through welfare aid, whose jealousy blinded her from what's right and wrong. And then there's Gabourey Sidibe's Precious, who rised above the discrimination and inner demons to chart a path of her own, "breaking through" an abusive relationship to find the strength in her to give the best that she was unable to get to her children.

Amidst all the issues that she faced, that message stood out to me the most. the undivided and selfless act of wanting to provide for her children, with no self-pity at her illness, moved me. that before her death, all she wants to do was to give them the best, struck me. How noble the cause, and how bravely she steamrolled ahead.

Gabourey Sidibe gave a pure and understated performance. despite how come have cried foul at the lack of great female characters in cinema these days, Gabourey found something that fitted her like a glove. Yet i wonder how much of this is a one-hit wonder, and she'll forever be known as the girl from Precious, stuck in that image and unable to find another role fitting for her. Her physical presence was strong. Any smaller actor would not have lend the same kind of gravitas needed for the role. but that might also limit her in her body language, which might affect the roles she get in the future. Nonetheless, Gabourey Sidibe is a tour-de-force in this movie, and sometimes, one single performance is all you need to create a legacy.

Mo'nique made a big sweep during the awards season, and true to hype, her performance was moving and raw, and she delivered those lines with emotions. you might not sympathise with her totally, but u can emphatise with the fact that she did what she thought was right.

The film played like one of them BET videos Precious wants to be in: unevenly paced, with flashbacks of fantasy, loud at times, and lots of vulgarities. I felt the film lacked a deeper connection due to the many issues it was trying to bring to light. As a result, there was no clear emotional climax until the end, which to me felt more like an anti-climax. I would have loved for a happily-ever-after, or at least some fragments of it, though it could never be possible. If anything, credit should go to the director for not sensationalising on the issues and toying with our sympathy. there was some respect for the audience for not putting things out blatently. it could have easily been overdone, but the restraint Paula Patton and Gabourey Sidibe had, Mo'Nique's brave performance, and the healthy dose of humour, brought closure.

Pecious is a film for anyone who is facing a tough period in their lives. if not to make you feel awfully lucky in your own shoes, at least for the acting and the humour. It is a rare gem in a crowd of false aplomb.


"The other day, I cried. But you know what? Fuck that day. That's why God, or whoever, makes other days."

WINNER!

my first "letter of the month" is published in this month's AUGUST MAN magazine! zippeeeee! very very pleased that i won for myself a Kenneth Cole watch. =)

i really shouldnt be this happy, cos the more i read it, the less impressed i am with it. i thought the other two letter were somehow better: one had better language, while the other a more diverse viewpoint. i had a better opener i guess. or mayb i was just plain lucky. or mayb they realised tt i've been following them on facebook and twitter and wana award my new-found loyalty and keep me reading. hmmm.

in any case, the idea to write in came to me during shower, like most bright ideas. i donno whether this is some divine luck, or some great writing, but today, it made me happy and motivated. and the recent success of HCJC training brought back some confidence in me as well. so i guess, it's uphill from here i hope.

tomorrow will be the day towards progress, in which today's reward spurred.