i do not know if it's solitude. or the incessant thoughts tt intrudes from various places. but i feel like my believes are mere thin air. i no longer know what to believe, what to trust.
not good enough. not good enough. a good son? a good friend? a good person? i no longer believe in any of these supposed claims.
the root of all these....self loathe... is mystifying. it's a pang of dissolution, to know that i might never be good enough. and while u offer the world to me, i have nothing for u in return.
i'm feel lost here. it seems like being myself is not the best advice. i need to getaway. again. probably alone this time. to a place where no one recognises me. tt's another thing i fell in love with HK: no one bothers me. we walk past the bustling streets with even lesser apprehension than strangers. no one judges me. and i hate being judged.
but i guess living in this world comes with its baggages. necessary evil that u cant hide from. i feel like i cant meet anyone's expectations. 21 and i feel i've done nothing to be proud of.
jus not good enough. not for u. not for me. not for anyone.
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