top(L-R): Heidi Klum, Tim Gunn, Michael Korrs, Michael Knight
bottom(L-R): Laura, Nina Garcia, Uli Herzner, Jeffrey.

the best team on tv this season.Project Runway 3.

i do not deserve alot of things. stinky attitude, condescendence, questioning stares, inconsiderate actions, not carryin your own weight.

i'm reading too much into words. and i dun think matters are as fine as they seem. it's deceiving, it's deceptive, and it's destructive.

i dun think i talk alot anymore. this has become my outlet, my therapeutic dashboard, with my heart bleeding out for the world to explore. i fear and loathe the repercussions that might come with the extend of my soul-bearing, and the outreach of this network.

lonely christmases are such tragic holidays.

on my way to work today, a lady was reading out loud pages from the bible. after a few stations, i started hearing more than 1 loud voice seeping thru my headphones, and to my horror, an indian man was havin a verbal spar with the lady. he spewed ugly words like 'crazy', 'mad', 'mental hospital', and confused 'religion' with 'race' by saying something like 'go ask others to join ya race'. i heard some references to the malays, but i didnt really catch it.

it's disgusting how some people can be so insensitive to the point of notoreity. while other passengers find it amusing, sniggering here and there at the racist comments the indian was making, i thought it was too taboo what he said. if i were the lady, my feelings wld have bled beyond repair. but the lady did fight back by calling the man 'silly' and very ironically calling Jesus to bless the indian man.

given that it's xmas eve today, it's understanding why the lady wanted to read out verses from the bible. this holiday has gotten so commercially celebratorial that the most of us forgot the true meaning of christmas other than from the movies we see. and it's only good for us to be open to other religion's beliefs.

thankfully, after the indian left, the couple ebside the lady started talkin to her. i think they were comforting her cos i saw her converse happily.

we have a long way to go from being a open minded society. and this is just one classic example.

this christmas, i got my 'feel' from all the xmas shopping for presents, queueing in line with fellow shoppers. and also from the customers who r buying presents at my workplace, and the crowd that is without mercy. it came before i am ready, and it doesnt feel very festive. nonetheless, i hope those overseas are travelling safe, and those here are having peaceful nights.

i certainly had. i spent my countdown in the bath. fly.


my monitor is failing me. sigh.



the impeccable Cate Blanchett. i cant wait to catch these. sadly i missed Little Fish durin the recent film fest.


Notes on a Scandal - with the superb Judi Dench, nothing can go wrong. this is the ultimate bitch fight/ psychopath thriller, judging from the trailer.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AruRpjQquQQ

Little Fish - she plays a recovering drug addict, haunted by her past. children choir always gets me.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wxenulh_JIU

The Good German - a Steven Soderbergh film. sld be good. but the trailer's only ok. there's George Clooney in yet another black/white film, Tobey maguire plays a baddie, and Cate makes shoulder padding look good.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w9ce6R40vwo


yar. this is how i spend my xmas.

my mum's workplace gave them Bakerzin log cakes for xmas. i'm licking it off my small plate. it's damn good. sadly i'm coming down with a running nose again. i never get fever, but it's always flu. dammit. i knew this wld come since yesterday.

why does my workplace not give log cakes for xmas? no bonus even!!! the only consolation is Annie-are-u-ok's Timtim (i tink) mint biscuits, which i very sluttily finished 1 whole packet. whoahaha.

and i feel exploited lar. so for the first time, i decided not to feel apologetic bout not mopping the floor. and i'm gettin very tiredddd. sigh.

i'm feelin very old sch. been listening to the "shanghai lounge divas" album of 60s music. it sounds like a group of old lonely spinsters. yet i'm digging it. it's great for late night. what's happening to me?!?!?!

kids nowadays are so fortunate. they have auntiesunclesfriendsmothersfathersmaids who will buy xmas presents for them, ask them wat they want, etc etc. all they have to do is reply an sms. so damn lucky.

i wana watch Muse larrrr. but it's so damn x. and there's no fellow Muse-rs to go party with me except Ivy n yy. sighsigh.

i love "Hong kong garden" from Siouxie And The Banshees. wat a cool name. and The Strokes' "Ever happened".

randomness.

curse of the golden flower

why not "curse of the chrysanthemums" when tt's obviously the flower?

perhaps "golden flower" has more grandeur to it.

went to catch tt with bin and jerms. i felt it's all too excessive. the overflowing boobies got me worried for them everytime the actresses run. overdone. the bloodshed and huge body count. exhaustive. gong li's screen time. too lingering.

but i understand why now. to be excessive is to draw emphasise on the decadence.

this is the ultimate family tragedy. while i thought Gongli had no breakthrough, she was still stunning as the heart and soul of the film. somehow i thought her reteamin with Zhang Yimou after the longest time would produce the performance of her life that wld catapult her into Hollywood stratosphere. but too often the camera lingers on her (thou it loves her to death). it's the usual repressed dominatrix with a tragic past.

Jay. his first scene in the film drew some giggles and i heard a "crap" somewhere. i thought the moustach was very un-Tang dynasty. and i thought the ending wld be darker if only he hadnt done wat he did. and i tink he's in this film for a reason. now he has a reason to go to Hollywood.

and i cant help but compare the theme song. i think no theme song is more befittingly used in Zhang's movie except Faye's Hero. bias? i tink not. it's a gravita-filled tune tt matches the film.

and somehow i cant help but compare it with The Banquet also. both had the same empress-wana-overthrow-emperor/ suppressed-feminist theme. while Curse had more charismatic actors, Banquet felt more poetic. and Curse is less poetic than Hero or Flying Daggers. which is a waste.

all in all, i tink ST Life!'s 4.5 star is overrated, though i didnt see all the political undertone it mentioned. and 8Days' 2 star is overtly miserly. it makes me wana watch Crouching Tiger all over again just to have tt organic feel back.

------------------
it's been a long day. i love waking up early cos it doesnt feel like i've wasted alot of time. supposed to jog with echo+Fairoz but the track was closed, and they did gym but i didnt wana do it, so i went for a swim. cold cold water. but it was nice. went to meet Quin after and shopped for er-hem's present but we ended up gettin xmas presents for assorted ppl instead haha. den we went my fav hangout:FullHouse @ Far East. chippy damn long queue, but i'm glad cos we tried the egg-wrapped carrot cake and mango ice, which is damnnn good itellyou. like whoa!


and Shawn YTL, i wana tell u this:

i saw jeff.

it was totally unexpected itellu. i was jus shopping ard at Lido topshop when all of a sudden i saw him sitting down between luggages, smacking flies(not literally). yar like how lucky can i get rite haha. but he seems to be doin well. no black shirt thou. and no colleagues ard. yar. laters!

den i went for dinner with bin + jerms. had popular chicken rice tt i didnt know, and starbucks coffee, and movie. yarrrr...this is how i spend my off day. i need to do this more often haha.

trailer galore

whoa

i just caught the Dreamgirls trailer. the last 30sec was played to Jennifer Hudson singing "(and i am telling you) I'm not going."

O M G

i cant wait to catch tt movie. and after surfing thru youtube for her footages, i realised she's already nominated for a Golden Globe best supporting actress. whoa.

and Variety compared her to Barbra, Bette, and a young Aretha all in one sentence.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1yivhLmzOcI

feast ya eyes and ears.

Half Nelson - a student found out that her teacher is an addict.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=miFflupoRJg


The Science Of Sleep - Michel Gondry of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. i love the use of that Death Cab for Cutie song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fkf-7Z3EdG4

i think it's all comin to an end very soon.
i can see ourselves meeting less.
we are already cutting down on smses.

but what can i do.

so is the year. 2006 has flew by like any other once again. it always feels rushed on hindsight. but it's been eventful. ORD, new job, new education, new problems, new revelations, new challenges. looking back, i wonder how i made it thru certain things. at this junction, i wonder how next yr will turn out to be.

i'm tired. sorta.

Just got back from Ting's 21st bday party at aloha changi. it was so farrrrrrrrr. and it was pouring. here's some pics. i love the backdrop.

me, Ben, Chao, Chong. ben has lost so much weight he's my idol now. kind him even sent us to bukit panjang, albeit the numbness of various body parts due to 4 guys crammed into the backseat.





celebreated Ash bday yesterday. the usual ktv routine till 3am, chatted till 4am after. woke up at 12.30 and went town to meet Shawn.

the ladies

"not happy to get the shoe and g-string isit!?!'

yesterday also marks one of the last few times i'll be seeing Mosquito. well, not actually. just that i wont see her as much cos she's quitting boo hoo. partin is such sweet sorrow. without her there is officially no one to take the pressure off the incessant ki-ki-kio from "someone", no one to laugh with me and tell me lame jokes and funny ppl, no one to share lunch and give me leftover fries or drinks, no one to film Hong Ru dancing, no one to talk to. i am officially the most familiar thing i know. i wonder how long i can last.

the gang. i laughed so hard at the hawker after tt my jaw felt tired. we were reminiscing about jeff largely, and it just cracks me up larrr. it also "inspired" me and Shawn to go spy on Jeff today, but he wasnt working. we wonder how he managed to survive. and we joked that mayb he got chased away again. boo hoo evil.

my xmas present from: ash, Siang, Jiahui. i love JH's chain!

i'm feeling very blue today. perhaps its the weather.

i don't usually remember my dreams. i wake up unable to remember a thing about it sometimes, so it's unusual for me to remember the 2 weird dreams i have the past 2 days.

On Thursday, i dreamt that i have to move two boxes, each with a snake in it. i was tryin to be careful with the first box, not wanting to alarm the snake in case it bites me or something (the box is covered thou). first box was moved, and the snake was not alarmed. i tried to be careful with the second one as well, but when i put it down, it started to rattle. den it grew more vigorous. i tried to contain the box by exerting pressure on it and make sure it doesnt vibrate too much. when all of a sudden, the white snake broke through and flew across the atmosphere, and out of the window in a straight line. and i saw white powdery liquid on my hands, like i've fought it.

den i woke up.

On Friday, i dreamt that Jay Chou was my best friend. upon meetin (to go somewhere i dunno where), he cheekily showed me his small pouch and proudly proclaimed that there's no karaoke machine in it. (?!?!) then we went to eat at Yoshinoya and he was surprisingly chatty.

den i woke up.

but it felt good!sweet! as if i really have a superstar for a best friend!!!

hahahahahhahaaahhahhh

they say u'll dream about what you think of in the day. NOT TRUE. i didnt even think of snakes and Jay Chou AT ALL!!! they werent even in my head! hahhaa... so this has gotta mean something right? but after tt dream i am liking jay chou more hahahaha!

i figured this is a sign. so i went to buy 4D. and so happen today is mosquito's last day, and the first day for a newcomer at CP, so i got them to draw a number for me!!! hahaha!!!!! in order not to jinx it, i shall openly declare what the other numbers are after Sat night.

like will be terrific if i win larrrrr!!! haha....





"prof: When you le tpeople win, you give them a temporary satisfaction. It's not real. But when you beat someone, graciously, you extend to them your honest respect. I think if more people weren't afraid to lose, the world would be a happier place.

Bobby: like, uh, "we'd all be rich" and stuff?

Prof: more fulfilled. Less fearful."

Jack & Bobby ep 1:09 - Chess Lessons

Rachael Yamagata - Reason Why

I think about how it might have been

we'd spend out days travelin'

It's not that I don't understand you

It's not that I don't want to be with you

But you only wanted me

The way you wanted me

So I will head out alone and hope for the best

And we can hang out heads down

As we skip the goodbye

And you can tell the world what you want them to hear

I've got nothing left to lose, my dear

So, I'm up for the little white lies

But you and I know the reason why

I'm gone, and you're still there

I'll buy a magazine searching for your face

From coast to coast, or whatever I find my place

I'll track you on the radio, and

I'll sign your list in a different name

But as close as I get to you

It's not the same

So, I will head out along and hope for the best
We can pat ourselves on the back

As say that we tried

And if one of us makes it big

We can spill our regrets

And talk about how the love never dies

But you and I know the reason whyI'm gone, and you're still there

I'm gone, and you're still there

So, steal the show, and do your best

To cover the tracks that I have left

I wish you well and hope you find

Whatever you're looking for

The way I might've changed my mind,

But you only showed my the door

So, I will head out along and hope for the best

We can pat ourselves on the back

And say that we tried

And if one of us makes it big

We can spill our regrets

And talk about how the love never dies

But you and I, you and I know the reason why

林憶蓮 新加坡 夜色无边演唱會 06.12.09

12 bouquets, 4 pink-hearted balloons, 2 stalks of roses, close to 30 songs, 90% of seats filled, sea of white tee shirts, 2 and a half hours, numerous dances, and buckets of tears later, 夜色无边演唱會 2006 came to an end with Singapore being the final pitstop. Anthony Lui was a genius by gettin everybody up on their feet. Singapore audience can be so hard to please, and at the beginning i even told myself that one fine day i'll HAVE TO catch Sandy at HK cos the atmosphere was so high. as a prank to play on Sandy, he plotted a supposed 15min dance medley tt was not part of the setlist, and told us, at the count of 3, to all stand up and dance along. countdowns have never been more effective. and most of us never sat down ever since.

was tryin to recreate one of the shots from the dvd. i'm glad she sang plenty of canto songs, thou portions were similar to the HK concert.
downstage, the fans are blowing bubbles too. the difference bet gettin the 148 and the 128(mine) is the crowd. the 148 crowd was more spontaneous.

the nicer pics with the close ups are grabbed online.

this will go down as one of the best nights of my life.

HONG RU ROCKS MY WORLD.

if u remember, he's the man, no, boy, who smells cd in my shop. yar. Mosquito had a video clip of him dancing to SinHuey's latest techno song, electric buttocks included. so farnieeeee.. but to protect the innocent, i shall not post it here. yet.

and after eatin Mosquito's aussie donuts, it's officially my fav food of the moment.

and my fav song now wld be Fiona Apple's Paper Bag. hearing that (and Rachel Yamagata's Reason Why) being included in the Last Kiss ost jus makes me wana go see the movie right now. Zach Braff rocks lar. "I got to fold cuz these hands are too shaky to hold-Hunger hurts, but starving works, when it costs too much to love."

i wan watch: last kiss!!!, flags of our fathers, casino royale, etc etc. dammit!

like totally brainless.

Birds of a feather flock together.

but look at my face.

DO YOU THINK I CARE?!?!?!

I jus lurrrve saying that.

DO YOU THINK I CARE?!?!?!

like. real. only.

gone

"i love Faye Wong, my tv, and my music.i have a song in my head 24-7. i am a Bohemian wannabe. i enjoy the company of witty ppl. and ppl who makes me roll on floor n LOL. and nice ppl. I'm a dreamer, and fear that much of these dreams might never be fulfilled. i think it's hard for people to understand me.i find myself talking less these days, and making frens have become brain-wrecking. i find it hard to talk crap. i am terrible at sports, or video games. i have no ball sense. i am idealistic and paints too bright a picture sometimes. i am indifferent. i love hot brownies.i am slightly condescending. i love baked potatoes and tau-sa-pia. someday i am gonna learn the piano, guitar, and harmonica. someday i'm gonna travel the world with my loved one. someday....if only someday...."

catching up

went to CP for lunch with Mosquito and Yao-nie. it felt like more than 2 weeks since we last met, the 3 of us. as usual we have to keep this hush-hush in case Ash gets jealous haha but every gatherin is great and always full of laughter. somehow the new cd we're airplaying now has 庾澄慶's "靜靜的". and everytime i hear tt song i'll be reminded of Shawn, how he use to love this song so much. he'll tell me why Harlem toned down for this song and then he'll ask me to pay attention to the humming intro. it's now become a must-K song for us, next to that Lee Sheng Jie duet. i miss the good old days.

his bday a few mths back.

then it's off to town to meet Lyn and Echo, and while walkin, i saw a band march past. it's nice to see a marching band after so long. felt a little reminiscent of the army days. anyway they were playing christmas songs, and i was quite shocked. i thought they're gonna play smthin serious. but the xmas songs definitely left a wide smile across my face. on top of the new rendition, what attracted me to it was perhaps the spirit of happiness tt comes with xmas songs, and somehow i got a lil excited now tt it's the holiday season again.

oh i heard a preppy rendition of "stand by me" at far east today. they're having some contest and i tot it's such a uber hip remake. i wana hippify some oldies too.

so i met Lyn, Echo Cheong, Abby and her BF for dinner at PS cafe cartel. it's been a yr since we last gathered, and again we're at PS. these peeps, with the exception of Nicholas who is Abby's bf, were my lovely SISPEC mates. Echo i met since BMT, but we nv really got close until at SISPEC, when the old section 2 ppl stuck together more. there i got close to keay and "Nicole" and fairoz too. me wasnt close to the girls at all durin Sispec, but after BSLC, me and Lyn got posted to signals. only a handful of us were posted there (one of which being Chewy) and me and Lyn ended up being in the same platoon. we depended on each other since we're the most familiar thing we know. thru lessons and being ICs together, we connected. and since Abby was close to Lyn since the beginning (and Echo and Abby having bonded at sispec alrdy), the 4 of us somehow got together and started having gatherings at Amara food court, PS, once in a while. "once in a while" is an understatement, considerin our last outing was one yr ago! i'm glad we finally caught up.

me, Abby, and her bf Nicholas

what a difference a yr makes, really. last yr our conversation revolved about Agnes, a girl-turn-bad from Sispec, and common fren amongst us. abby, being in the same unit with her, wld tell us all the juicy gossips bout how she dumped a nice guy for a bastard, how she's two-timing guys and flirting with them, her bad dress sense, etc etc. it was hilarious. somehow this time we talked less bout her. instead we were busy catching up on the past yr and filling in each other on future plans.

both of the ladies plan to leave SAF within the next few yrs. Abby wants to franchise Subway, and she'll go ROM on the 4th March 2007 and have her ceremony in 2008!!! Abby is still the 24 yrs old straight-talking, no-holds-barred woman i knew 2 yrs ago. always direct, always one-pin-see-blood, yet nv obnoxious. Nic on the other hand is still the silent one. haha. talkin bout opposites attract. they've been together for the longest time and probably the most lasting couple i know.

last yr 271205031206
this is Lyn, if u haven already see her fr my frenster. look at how much she's changed. the power of love~ (= no one wld have guessed that she's already 28 this yr (luckily she doesnt come online tsk tsk). likewise, Lyn is havin plans to get married. ROM 2008, possible ceremony after. i miss her more after i saw her. she's so skinny nowadays. and when i didnt see her bf in tow, i whispered to abby "eh where's her bf ah?", to which Abby replied out loud, as usual, "wallaby lar! u tink they break liao ah!?" seriously, i'm happy for them. both of them have their future planned with marriages and career moves. Lyn is goin back to doin childcare, and she's gonna do a part-time dip in early childhood development and become a teacher.

in some ways. it's shocking to hear all these when i dun even know how my education will work out. comin together after so long felt heart-warming to know that everyone's doing well, and we have no communication breakdown after such a long hiatus. in some ways too, they've inspired me to live my life more fully. now it's just a mess i'm tryin to straighten. talkin bout money matters, marriages, kids, and careers gave me an early glimpse into the future. i'm expecting an outing 5 yrs later, baby in tow and talking bout prices of milk and all.

me lyn echo den went to catch Happy Feet at the Cathay Cineplex. it's my first time there man! i was more excited bout watching the trailers than the movie cos i haven been to the theatre for the longest time, last film being devil wears prada. but sadly we were just on time for the movie (they are so punctual), and i missed the possibility of catchin a Spiderman 3, Dreamgirls or A Pairie Home Companion trailer. darn.

but b4 tt we had Ben & Jerry! Echo's treat and my first taste on B&J. darn ex lar. i tot: so-so only ma.

anyways Happy Feet was quite good. it got me laughing alot. it's interesting how the species of penguins represent the different races in America, with the smaller penguins being the one with the Latin Am accent, the emperor penguins havin regular am accent. i havent watch March of the Penguins yet, but i'm guessing some parts might be a rip-off. the "latin" penguins were damn cuteeeeee!!! and they're so hilarious i cant help it. but the best thing has gotta be hearing Nicole Kidman voice the momma penguin. i've nv heard her sounding sweeter and it's jus such ear candy. notice the small N on the penguin's left. and she singing Price's Kiss. GOSH. man. definitely lovely.

it felt a lil rush thou. i tot the message was nice but it was very madagascar-ly, the typical "journey into the unknown and return a hero" premise which we've all seen a tad too many in recent animations. i haven been catching up to any of them, cos my affection lies largely with Pixar/Disney.

then i came home and caught Singapore Dreaming, which i will not blog about now cos it's terribly late.

"Echo" Cheong

藍奕邦 - 可樂

歌手：藍奕邦

作曲：藍奕邦 填詞：藍奕邦

編曲：藍奕邦/李漢金

等一首絕世K歌　高唱它協助眼淚儘快哭乾

穿一套耀眼衣裳　祈求贏取注視凝望

連忙致電各路友好　派對誰可邀請到訪

到處出走探索　哪場盛事最堂皇

無非很想快樂　我共你　活著太寂寞

無非想找快樂　我共你　東奔再西趕

＊如若快樂是罐可樂　到處也有發賣隨便喝光　

歡樂無需找個依傍　哪裡再要拚命尋覓攪作　

不用付出都有收穫　哪裡再有信徒留在教堂　

水壺內藏著十萬人浪　隨時隨地拿來填密空檔

想找個渡假天堂　只要一到達困倦會掃清光

想找個合拍戀人　通宵埋首網上遊蕩

誰人找到快樂配方　祈求能趕快跟我講

現在越要解悶為何越是有悶檔

如若快樂是罐可樂

也怕到了某日全部喝光

歡樂完畢偏更坦蕩

派對過了繼續尋覓攪作

假如從今只喝可樂

也會到了某日懷念喝湯

水壺內藏著十萬人浪

哪裡夠我拿來填密空檔

無非很想快樂　我共你　活著那樣忙

誰想安守家中　吃便當　共誰談近況

This is how i got fat

supper ten minutes ago: oatmeal crab (!!!), fried chicken+fries, leftover rice + stew chicken with chestnuts and taupok.

of cos, it's being shared by my family. weight gaining will accelerate/quadruple if i DIY all these.

i need to exerciseeeeeeeeeee. (SCREAMS IPPT COMIN dammit...)

"I just love funny people. Funny people are great, and sooooooo hilarious."
Britney Spears, discussing her Will & Grace guest-starring sting with Matt Lauer, on Dateline NBC.


Trump fires Carolyn it was dark, and he mistook her for an outgoing wife.

Lance Armstrong seen with Paris Hilton he won her heart with pickup lines like "My road to victory ends in Paris," "Wanna take a Tour de Pants?" and "I am Lance Armstrong."

got the above from EW. i hope the Fed-Ex(love the pun to death!) split proves to be smarter than this.

CSS: Ever With The Best

a very cutthroat Mrs Yip approached me during the walkathon this morning. after praising me for a job well done for the prom, she asked me: "so what have you learnt?"

i was caught unaware. i gave a very patronising and politically sound reply of "i learnt how to delegate jobs and liaise with the hotel management.yarrr."

do not be mistaken. i bet she did not mean for it to come out interrogatively. she's still all smiley and i really admire how she has managed to stay well-tempered for such a long time, always havin a smile on her face. it was my ill-prepared thoughts that caught me unaware.

i've been thinking bout that qns ever since mid-way through preparation. even before preparations began, i've sorta thought about what i can possibly learn from organising this event. to quote susan: "so do what u think is right, people who are putting up the show with u are friends you've known for a good 7 or 8 years. U should have faith in the friendships, if not working relationships.......the most impt thing at the end of it is coming out of it feeling like u've learnt tremendously"

"tremendously" would be an overstatement, honestly.

i guess i've learnt about myself more than anything else. when i first started out, i cant remember what exactly happened, or if it's even prom-related at all, but i told myself that in order to be strong, i have to stop feeling sorry for myself. i have to be unapologetic not to the point of snobbishness, but just being confident about what u're doin. even if u're not, act like it. thinking back now, i feel like i've achieved that. i do not feel like i'm the fault for everything that's gone wrong, yet i do own up when i feel that i'm the dire cause of a terrible situation.

i also feel that i have become a changed person. being put in this situation 4 yrs ago, i would have reacted differently. i would have scurried around like a lil mouse, getting myself confused with the things that didnt matter, contemplating ideas yet not putting them thru the proper channels. this time, i am feeling more confident in the things i do. i approach people differently, with less smile and more serious business. i am more focused and knew exactly what i wanted. i guess that is why i got so mad at some points when it didnt go as planned. deadlines were being pushed back, other people were not carrying their weights, the publicity posters didnt turn out the way i had expected it (the possibility of havin a much better one is, imo, unlimited). i was realy low at some points. i significantly remember this occasion, when i saw the pageant box lying on the floor, being tampered with for the upteenth time, and inconsiderate people takin over half my noticeboard when i specifically had a "CSS Prom Night Noticeboard" streaming across the top. it was disheartening to say the least. back then, i felt immensely stupid tryin to pull this off. why am i feeling like i'm in this alone, always comin back fixing broken things when i have more important things (like my exams) to deal with? i felt like this was all not worthwhile, and i've been pushed down a pit to struggle on my own.

everytime i see the words "nothing in this world that's worth having comes easy", i feel energized a little. it wasnt an intentional act to have those words written across the pages of my notes. i was merely scribbling a quote off tv. but somehow, it spurred me on a little to move forth. i guess it's Providence in its minute form. i told myself that this is not smthin tt sld bring u down. it sld take alot more. and i realise that it's only thru takin on challenges that one becomes stronger and more fearless.

Mary told me that i was still reserved and playin-it-safe. in my self-doubt moments, i do feel so. but i dun think that i am one who doesnt take risks. this yr has seen many firsts: pageant being chosen prior, elaborate decors that sounded tedious to construct given the time limits, having a theme. i've let it all happen. an older version of me would have worried all the way. but not now, not this time.

and alot of this has got to do with faith. at times i feel like i'm not the best person to do the job, that someone else cld do a more fantastic job, and that i am utterly replaceable. i've always felt that way. just that this time round i happen to have slightly more time on my hand to organise this. and i know that i am not the most respected person of them all. but i had faith in my fellow peers that ultimately, everyone would rise to the occasion. and i was right on that. indeed, this event would not have pulled off if it werent for the team. i bet given another team of very different strangers, it would never have worked out so well. it's ironic how as each yr pass and we grow more distant from the sch, my batch still maintains the highest attendance and constant rise in standards. indeed, i've had the best faith in these ppl: lixin, celest, jenni, susan, bee,bert, chingyee, liling. they've never disappointed me and the success belongs to them totally.

this experience has made me a stronger person, and i would not give it up for anything. it has sparked off a second-comin of passion for service to CSS, and i hope this will be enough to sustain me thru the sch's drastic changes. i have achieved what i've set out: to value-add upon last yr's show, to run a smooth event, and to let the students have a memorable night. however miniature in proportions these objectives were met, i'm glad that at least i've accomplished something.



walking to the new CSS building today felt a lil awkward. it felt like day 1 of school all over again, tryin to familiarise oneself with the new building while admiring it. it wasnt a bad place. but of cos it lacked the nostalgic feel of the old. i understand the rationale behind the change, but yet it does not make it any easier for those of us who have had splendid memories there at Jurong East St 24. i now have no motive to take 187, or look forward to seeing any Blues or familiar faces on the bus, at my usual seat. no more cup noodles just 2 mins away, no more red tiles on the parade square, no more long staircase with the stunningly wide view of the PIE and the horizon. it will take a long while before i finally get used to not seeing the sch's name when i take a ride past the PIE.

but i guess in a way, changes are inevitable. it's indeed a better place to be in terms of facilities: there's a huge auditorium, the dancers and drama people no longer need to fight for the same room, and the staff room is more spacious and less claustrophobic. a better environment wld give our juniors a better education. and that's perhaps the best way for the CSS spirit to live on.

here's a tribute, and some prom pics.

this is my fav funny girl, Clara Yeo, who was such a spot she came as Daphne from Scooby Doo, although i mistaken it for a Harejuku outfit. ALWAYS had me ROFLOL hard, as u can see from the following pics.

like wat was the photog doin man! tsk tsk. like ruin the 2 rare pics i'm in!

no points for guessing who he is. flanked by black n white: Jerms, me, and dustbin.tanks jerms for takin time off ya sch and having to go back home instead of hall. tanks to dustbin for takin time off ya "busy schedule" and for takin the effort to loan tt huge DSLR for 60bucks! yet my pic with my fav girl was blurred! u're takin revenge rite! where's justice when u need it man. =)the final cheer tt rocked the building

the hall. we've had countless dance practices, rehearsals, exams, and camps here.

the view from the field. i was blessed with beautiful clouds that day. i took these pics usin kaiyan's cam, and it's actually meant for the pageant vid. but it was so breath-takin and i got more interested with the different angles and started playin with it.

the slope downhill

for those who missed the walkathon and have yet to see the new premise, here's a sneak peek.
the lovely "seaview".

so this was where it all began. no. this IS where it all began. many a dreams and aspirations were sparked here. the passion, the memories. not too long ago i was stayin back in sch till the auties were chasing us out, stayin behind for camps and activities, making morning announcements in front of everybody and comin into sch durin the first day wearing only PE attire and being the laughing stock of the class. this was where my love for literature and service began, when Mdm Aishah taught us how important it was to serve and "ppl only look at the wrongs u do, not your right ones". she taught me many values and i'll always remember how she defended me the day she spoke to my dad bout my results. tears welled up inside. i remember how badly i bawled during council investiture and sec 2 class streaming.how embarrassing to think about it. i teared during the sch song at my step-down council invest as well. that i am nv embarass abt. i remember sitting at the back of the class with jiewei and always amazed at how he can read comics underneath the table, yet pay attention in class. i miss Belle's infectious laughter coupled with xuan's asthmatic signature laugh and yien's dramatic one. i miss the smell of the morning grass, takin 187 and sitting at my usual sit, listening to songs. i miss failing chem and being the one always aimed by mr Yong. i miss Chan Chun Hwa's nicknames, cos they always had me on the floor. miss Ferd's interactive lessons and introducing us to quotes from R&J i still remember to this day.

what used to be may nv be, and what has passed can only be remembered. many lives were changed here. this is where it all began. and this is the love of my life, CSS.

i'll miss you. Ever With The Best.