A Different View

i remember a visit to the old folk's home many years ago, when i was 14 or younger, with the Student Council / Prefectorial Board. i cant remember if it was St Luke's, or another nursing home, but i will never forget what i did there. i recall that awkward feeling of helplessness, uncomfortable and embarrassed, not knowing what to do or say, or who to speak to. how ironic that as a leader, i spent the entire time there following what other people did. most of the time i was helping the old folks fold tissue paper. it was like the most popular thing to do then, everyone was doing it, and so i joined in. looking back, i feel kinda guilty. it was as if we were trying to compete with them to finish the work, even though the intention was to help.

it was with the same trepidition and dread that i went to work today. i was not looking forward to something i was unfamiliar with and had a bad experience. i was indignant that they did not tell us more comprehensively what to say and how to behave, what not to say and do. it was a case of fearing the unknown. i had a bad feeling that the day was going to be sucky just like many years ago. then i remembered something from the book i am reading, something abt correcting your thinking and being open minded, and so i told myself to give it another chance, it might not be tat bad.

it turned out pretty well. the elders at Jamiyah shelter home were mostly friendly and able to take care of themselves, and our programme was sufficient to keep us occupied. i reminded myself that talking to them is no different from any passengers i will serve in the future, and if i was not mentally prepared to talk to these strangers, i might never learn.

so i smiled, alot. it is my strongest suit. and i realised that this time, i actually enjoyed myself. i spoke to a few old folks and lucky enough, they were very chatty and shared alot with me. some complained about their friends, some told me what they were doing before this. 2 of my classmates actually cried during the interaction. we did an impromptu indian dance for them, and some were even enthusiastic enough to join us on stage. the interaction was short, and we went on a tour and some wheelchair lessons afterwards.

obviously, growing up has taught me to react to such situations. there was some slight discomfort, but i had to rise above, and prove to myself that i can do it. i had to lead by example. i chatted with them like a newly-made friend, banter with those who can take jokes, and try to make conversations and be interested. it isnt that hard at all. they might seem intimidating initially, but after a while, some of them warmed up to us. and with a heavy heart, i tried to emphatise with what they're going through. it reinforces the fact that many of us are lucky the way we are, yet we do not have the eyes to see it. and with the years added, and the fact that one day i might be one of them in need, there was a great amount of empathy. it was an eye-opener and a reminder of the realities of the world, and it further spurred me to give of what i have while i still can. i'll never want to be dependent like this; i'm too proud. living till a ripe old age is strangely not an attractive option for me.

im glad im in a job/company that not only has many possibilities and prospects, but some nobility and meaning.