080808 - 祝, 生日快乐

王菲,

祝生日快乐

你快乐(所以我快乐)




PS, I love you.

Sesame Street

I am sure I am not the only one who havent watch Sesame Street in years. The last time I caught an episode was probably when my mum was still a babysitter a few years back. I would force the kids to watch Sesame Street but they have short attention span and more often than not are always more interested in other shows. hahaa.

While reading EW I found out that Elmo actually dueted with Alicia Keys, Chris Brown, and even Andrea Bocelli! So while youtubing, these two caught my attention.


Norah Jones' version of "Dont know 'Y'"
this is quite funny and sweet. hahhaa.



and on Aug 11 2008, the episode will feature FEIST!! singing, wat else, but 1234.
this is a sneak peak and it's quite funny as well.



both vids may be deemed 'lame' by adults, but they're actually very sweet and innocent. if it doesnt put just a tiny smile on ya face, u're prob in danger of being too serious. lighten up. =)

Fear

"and you know the thing about chaos; it's fear."

"Madness is like gravity. All you need is a little push."

I caught The Dark Kinght for a second time today with xin,jenni,belle, and QJ(whom also caught it with me the first time round). I never go to the same movie for more than once. The last time, and first ever, I did so, if I remember correctly, was for Titanic. I cant remember if I caught the first time on dvd or in the theatres, but the fact was I sat through the 3 hr weeper twice, and both times my eyes got watery.

I read this forum a few weeks back, and they were polling if they would go see the Dark Knight tiwce, or more, and asked what were the movies that kept them going back to theatres. pirates 3, spiderman 3, titanic, star wars 1 thru 6, LOTR, etc etc. I thought to myself that I oughta show some love for the movie and pay Heath Ledger my last respects. This is the least a fan could do for a great performance, and second time round is still great.

I caught up on the missed dialogue from the first screenin. GV VIVO's 10 row theatre 2 has a boomin sound system that at times felt a tad too loud, but the screen was right in my face, widespread. I could hear every moan and groan and even noise that was comin out of the movie set's next door, and feel att the vibrations in my jeans and seat. Second time round was more of an appreciation for the script, though the action sequences, acting, and special effects also left me at awe again. Some scare tactics still got to me, even though i knew it was gonna happen. I could marvel at the Hans Zimmer score better now, and cringe everytime Heath rows his eyes or lick his lips. The movie also felt more well-paced, as the first time was quite hectic (i thought some parts were a tad choppy though).

The Dark Knight is still the number 1 film in the US, with a current to-date domestic box office gross of approx $400 million. Staying at number 1 for 3 consecutive weeks (even keepin Mummy 3 at number 2)and breakin all sorts of records with its opening weekend/2-day gross or whatever drew speculations that it will surpass the $600 million domestic gross by all-time top grosser Titanic.well, at least come close. Titanic was a slow-burn that stayed at number 1 for 15 straight weeks, fueled by the Oscars, leo leo leo, word-of-mouth, etc etc. the other camp suspects that while Dark Knight might come close, it will never surpass the legendary run that Titanic achieved, or even come close. They speculate that it will only create s string of imitations, of comic-adaptations that are darker, more ambitious, and more daring.

But really. what keeps people goin back is just the very basic fact that it's a great movie. Ong Sor Fen should be shot for giving it a half-star short of 4. i hate reviewers who give a 5-star rating. that almost always comes with biasness. mayb my rating scale is too stuck on Rolling Stone's rating scale, whereby a 5-star is deemed a Classic, a 4-star Excellent. The Dark Knight definitely deserved more than the 3.5 that it got. that's like callin the Beatles average!

more Death Cab

Most people probably got to know of Death Cab for Cutie through this song, which is being played on local radio stations. Listen to the lyrics, because this is a tragic song about death and friendship.

I Will Follow You Into the Dark




For me, I discovered DCFC after listening to the Grammy Nominees 2006 or 2007 album. They were nominated for Best Alternative album for "Plans", and "Soul Meets Body" was the song in the compilation. I know i know, not exactly the most indie-cool way to discover an indie band, but good music is good music, whatever your means of attainin it. what matters is your appreciation and support for it. I remember hearing this song like a breath of fresh air in that entire album; so haunting and so poetic. i got the album soon after and it didnt disappoint. i was a fan from then on. this song remains one of my all-time favourites, along with Fiona Apple's "Across the Universe" and Bjork's "Joga".

Soul Meets Body
"a melody softly soaring through my atmosphere"

funny

watchin Ms South Carolina's vid alone seemed. . . scary. In a way it is equally tragic that someone could speak so badly. After reading the works of a 12yr old a few days back, and seeing this again after being reminded, i fear for the standard of English for Americans.

Not that my standards are high either.

Anyways, watching Jimmy Kimmel disect her speech was hilarious. it brought a whole new perpective to the "huh?!?!? what?!?!" video. hahaha.

I Will Possess Your Heart

Death Cab For Cutie - I Will Possess Your Heart


how i wish you could see the potential
the potential of you and me
it's like a book elegantly bound
but in a language that you can't read just yet
you gotta spend some time love, you gotta spend some time with me
and i know that you'll find love, i will possess your heart

there are days when outside your window,
i see my reflection as i slowly pass
and i long for this mirrored perspective,
when we'll be lovers, lovers at last
you gotta spend some time love, you gotta spend some time with me
and i know that you'll find love, i will possess your heart

i will possess your heart
i will possess your heart

you reject my advances and desperate pleas
i won't let you, let me down so easily, so easily

you gotta spend some time love, you gotta spend some time with me
and i know that you'll find love, i will possess your heart

i will possess your heart
i will possess your heart
i will possess your heart






i absolutely adore Death Cab's new album Narrow Stairs. This song has a damn long intro of approx 4 mins, but the slow haul is worth the wait. i love it. watch the vid and see if u can last through it. i'm absolutely devastated that i cannot go to their gig (thou i am confirm goin to Sandy lam's). wld love to see them under Esplanade's loving lights and what they would do. sighhh.


anw, i tried to upload this song to my blog but geocities is crap shit. FYI, again, if u dun like the song tt is playin now on the blog, pls press the STOP button on ya window.

but dun u think this Chet Lam song is timeless?!

Convocations!

I attended two good friends' convocation last weekend. It was my first ever and it was a whirwind of cam-whoring and more. Budding photographers Becca Bee Fuying Lixin Jenni all had their cameras armed and loaded, with the exception of mine. Perhaps I've gotten over the need to document events with my small camera, since so many others are doing it. I'm waiting for the day I get my hands on a DSLR to snap the world away again. One thing that doesnt change though is my camera's short battery life. It stopped prematurely on the second day after a mere 6 photos. damn.

Somehow it was so much fun I found myself laughing alot that day. I think I am lightening up again, which is a good sign even though my lame streak has resurfaced. ha!

Congrats to Lixin and TallOne! frens forever!

_______________________________________________________________________________


A pair of 12 year old Aussie twins wrote the following. This is an excerpt from an article they wrote. To be able to write so well at such a tender age. Makes me wonder what's the difference between them and our local kids.

"We are rapidly becoming a "checkout community". "How are you today?" we ask, but there is no eye contact and we don't really care.We all have the daily grind of going to school or work, but that's not really living, is it? You may as well just sit and wait for your coffin to be delivered.

If you want to add value to your life, you have to put the effort in.

So read the local paper and see what you can join, chat to someone at the shops and invite them round for tea, get together with neighbours and clean up a park, and shape the future by being a living, breathing example to them." -
Identical twins Imogen and Freya Wadlow, 12, run the Planet Patrol website for kids, located at: www.planetpatrol.info.http://www.smh.com.au/news/opinion/lose-the-shiny-plasma-tv-and-find-your-community/2008/04/30/1209234954729.html
___

The Dark Knight

I got really excited when I saw this poster at Lido while watchin "I'm Not There" earlier this year. This poster is so well crafted it directs all your attention to the Joker. The blown up version does it more justice.


I FINALLY caught The Dark Knight, after my plans were twarted on Friday when the tickets were sold out 2hours before the 8pm show I wanted to watch at The Cathay. This time, I was determined to catch it. I booked the tickets two days earlier, chose the superb Grand Cathay that has a huge screen, fantastic sound, ample leg space, and comfortable seats. Touting it as the most anticipated movie of 2008 was no exaggeration, with all the posthumous Oscar-or-not hype surrounding late Heath Ledger's performance. The entire marketing campaign was based on it. It delivered, and I must say the last time I was SO excited to see a performance, or a movie, was . . . Cate Blanchett in I'm Not There or Meryl in Devil Wears Prada. Or Ryan Gosling in Half Nelson.

At a whopping 153 minutes, I was amazed at how each and every single minute felt like a punch. Every scene played like the Joker's twisted and complicated mind, with action, laughs, cringes, complicated and smart crime acts, and intellect spewing at every turn. Christopher Nolan, of Momento fame, might have packed too much details and too many themes into the movie. It is the most psychologically twisted of the Batman series, with the deepest quest into the whole moral foreplay. Did the Joker spawn from the Dark Knight's crime fighting, insomuch as the clearing up leads to villains of another level? At one of the movie's climatic scene, two ships are loaded with explosives, one carrying the scums and criminals, one carrying the citizens. They have to choose between blowing the other ship up, or risk both ships exploding if neither party detonates the other ship in the given time. Is it right to kill to protect oneself? Are the criminals not humans as well?

The whole movie played with post-911 terrorist resonance, with the blowing up of the entire Gotham Hospital the final straw. It felt terrifyingly realistic with what was going on a few years back, and the evacuation of citizens felt apocalyptical, almost as if watching a horror movie with a virus ala 28 WEEKS LATER. This is the most grim and anarchist of the entire series, and a little heavy for a Summer blockbuster, but I'm glad Chris Nolan made no compromise. The script was full of punch. The cinematography was befitting with a grim dark-blue throughout. And of course the Bat Pod thingie, which was so much cooler than anything Iron Man had, on hindsight.








Christian Bale as Batman was the perfect choice, and he's carved out a career as diverse as Edward Norton's, and he's one of the best character actors around. Thou without as much screen time without the Bat suit as compared to Batman Begins, he still managed to do a rather decent job. Batman Begins was his breakout role to the world, in a way his first major blockbuster. The Dark Knight extends upon his talent, though I wished he had more screen time outside the suit.

I was glad to see Cillian Murphy return with a minor role as the Scarecrow. CM is so hugely underrated which puzzles me because he's had a diverse filmography and decent acting as well. And then there were Chin Han, and Edison's non-existent, less than 3sec shot. Heck the camera didnt even focus on him. Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman were scene-stealers with great lines, and Maggie Gyllenhael was stunning. I wished she was cast in the first movie instead of Katie Holmes. She added a little edge and exotic beauty to the role of Rachel Dawes.

Aaron Eckhart as Harvey Dent was good, but it didnt scream at me. Those who've seen Thank You For Smoking should remember his PR role in that movie, that in a way paved for this role. But that movie was line-dependent. To play a good-turn-bad role required more than good lines. I thought he could have been more menacing, and his voice could have been lower. Perhaps I watch too much of the cartoon.

And then there was Heath Ledger. The licking of lips. The low tone in his voice. That laughter. That slouch and tousled green hair. That white-red makeup and the ghastly black rings that accentuated his eyes. Heath is a Method actor, being compared to the great Marlon Brando. In Brokeback Mountain, he tightened his jaw throughout the entire shoot just to show Ennis' pent-up frustrations. In this movie, he got so into the role that rumours claim it was the cause of his drug overdose that led to his eventual demise. Like watching James Dean in any movies of his short-career, the Joker was Heath at his prime, with a performance that resonates even after I left the theatre. The sense of poignance at the loss of great potential is truely tragic. To say that he left at his prime is undermining what he could have done in the future. If he were still alive today, I am sure he will go on to give even more stunning performances. The Joker was the heart of the movie, as it should be, and Heath stole the movie. At times funny and scary, he created a Joker of his own. You can almost see the deep characterisation that went into this role. He has proven that to touch anything Jack Nicholson has done before might not be suicide after all. JN's Joker was a lighter villain with more Tim Burton fluff, but HL's was menacing and deeply troubled, yet not without any "jokes".


This goes down as one of my favourite movies of all time. CN has successfully brought Batman down from the unrealistic, it-could-only-happen-in-the-movies-or-comics realm into real life. While watching the movie I felt that someone like the Joker could truely exist. Perhaps it might not force out a crime-fighting caped crusader masked in a lathex suit moulded after a bat. But with all the signs pointing to an apocalyptic future, it is not hard to imagine the future with a maniac villain. We see it all in the news: Osama Bin Laden, Al Qaeda, perhaps even Bush. The Joker merely did it under the guise of makeup.

HEATH LEDGER
1979 - 22/01/2008

2 week's 千言萬語

I was away in the army for 2 weeks of reservist. Indeed, much can happen in 14 day's time. On the 4th day, my cousin broke to me the news of my grandpa's death. Over the first weekend, I spent most of my time at the wake. It was my first full-fledge experience, and it was rather interesting.

I wasn't close to my grandpa at all. Due to some fued, me and some of my cousins from the same batch never really connected with him. If I were critical, we were merely following through the motions. Of course there were moments of pity at the depart of a family member, but everyone was consumed with the logistics of the funeral that it left not much time for tears.


It was a state of excess: burning paper, food, lots of drinks, trash, noise, banners, etc etc. I almost witnessed a gang fight (my uncle invited his "friends" along), saw long-lost relatives, and saw with my own eyes family unity. The final burning of house and cars and everything extravagant sumed it up.



Being back in the restraints of the disciplined and routine army life made me miss the carefree and simplistic environment, which some may deem as "protected" or "entrapped". We sleep before 12midnight for most nights, three meals provided, and we exercise. We have lunch and rest until 1.30pm, and are free for most nights after dinner. Away from the rest of the world, free time was spent playing "dai-dee", eating tidbits, and making fun of one another. I miss that kind of lifestyle. Once away from it, I felt like I needed to treasure my time out more because so much was spent doing nothing much. It made me feel like i can achieve more with 24hours, that the possibilities are limitless.
Being in the company of married men who drive also hit me, that I need to discover what I truely want out of life.


The reservist coincides with my half-yr resolutions, and the haircut symbolises a new phase of the year. I do not regret the haircut. Good men look stunning in anything. =) This is, again, the year I live better.








In her prime, Faye Wong's vocals can do wonders. This is, IMO, the best version of this song, chinese or english, male or female covered. Ethereal vocals aside, the twists and notes in this song are killers, and Faye's vocals sound like a remarkable acrobat. a must-watch.



this song is tragic. it's all about the voice.




SANDY LAM LIVE IN SINGAPORE - 18 OCT. ANYONE????

back

it could be the new armani hairstyle tt made my head succeptible to cold, or the past few days of late night activities, coupled with little sleep, that induced my runnning nose. now i feel weak, my nose is about to drop off, i have an on/off headache, and gasp gasp, i have reservist tml.

yes. 2 weeks of greenery. a few hours ago i really detested the whole notion and its toil on regular lifestyles. now i've mellowed, and in the spirit of thinking happy thoughts, here's a list of things tt i hope will get me thru.
- i saw my training schedule. i can come out during the weekends! woots!
- my new bodyshop body foam
- Rolling Stone with Britney's tragic career on the cover
- The Passion and one Cyril Wong book
- my notebook
- NIGHTS OFF!
- my specially-selected CD collection
- my phone

k. not much actually. hopefully these will keep me sane while i am inside
i wanted to blog about my half-yr resolution list. this weekend perhaps.

goin back to the army. sigh.

JENNIFER-strutting-HUDSON!

Jennifer Hudson - Spotlight (New)
Uploaded by wonderful-life1989

k the much-anticipated new single fr Ms Jennifer Hudson is FINALLY here. she's just takin her time man, i cant wait! anyway, this vid is the epitome of sassiness. i see the Oscar has done her well cos she's just strutting strutting strutting all the way. and that LOOK! she reminds me of Whitney. but anw, this track is a killer. Hudson fans sld be proud. =)

cant wait for the album.

JJCians, TIM DORE ALERT!!!

I was back at JJ to do some publicity for the Prom, givin out mysterious roses and cards to J2s. The most interesting part about the visit, and the day, was seeing this:


MR TIM DORE AND HIS MONSTER TRUCK!!!





Mr Tim Dore is my beloved Lit teacher back in the days, always sarcastic in humour, ever dramatic. He cycles everyday to sch then, but now apparently he's "upgraded". i guess all that cycling was to let him lose weight (cos he looks thinner now), and now tt it's been achieved, he dun need to cycle anymore. HE CAN DRIVE!!!

I secretly snapped this 3 voyeuristic pics while getting into MJ's car (we got in at the same time coincidentally). now tell me, who in Singapore has the courage + taste + common sense + heat endurance to drive this?!?!?!?!?! *kow tows* trust me, the real thing looks like it's been up mountains, lived thru tsunamis and landslides, yet come out unscratched. i was so amused at the sight, yet totally awed by his "courage" and drama. courage is subjective. if he were in UK it wld have been the norm. he has set the bar for coolness, and i miss him. we need TIM DORE IN OUR LIVES! i immediately mms my 02a4 classmates.

AND DID I MENTION I FINALLY HAD JJC MEE FEN AFTER LIKE YEARS?!?!?!?!?!? OMFG. i had one packet when i arrive, and wanted another one when i leave but it was sold out =( so i had fried rice instead. but it's still ONE FREAKIN DOLLAR MAN. like, WHERE TO GET CHEAP NICE TASTY DELICIOUS ONE DOLLAR BEE HOON!


speaking of 02A4, a few of us celebrated Hazzie's bday by giving her a surprise at Lucky Plaze's ayam p****** (dunno how to spell) place on Monday.






of cos we cam whored, and caught up. we got her a slinky green nightie for, erm, to encourage she and Marcus' secret rendezvous hahahahhaha. the Secret recipe cake was delicious. My grilled catfish's head looked like a snake. supper at NYDC after, then it's back home. on the way back, i heard my first story of a real life tai-tai who's a fren's fren. sounds like a nice life sia. WHOA.

i love hanging out. it keeps me in perspective. =)

林宥嘉 - 那首歌

林宥嘉 - 那首歌

主唱：林宥嘉
作曲：郭子．左宏元
填词：_裕康．左宏元
编曲：涂惠源
监制：王治平

不知道为了什么　忧愁它围绕著我
我每天都在祈祷　快赶走爱的寂寞

你要我听这一首歌　用这首歌离 开 我
她唱得太美了　歌词却很伤人
你为什么不直接提 分手

爱人的话不需要重　轻轻的说我就懂
接你的车来了　表示爱到站了
我站在十字路口　对抗心痛　一个人

你的黑发　现在睡进谁的胸口
你的唇　现在跟谁要温柔
一开始你爱我　最后你放弃我
还要用千言万语说得委屈　你有多难过

爱牢牢抓紧我　恨深深包围我
你要我为你好　快赶走爱的寂寞




林宥嘉-你快樂所以我快樂!!!

i heart 林宥嘉

DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE!!!

DATE
12 Aug 2008
Tue, 07:30PM

DURATION
Approx 1 hr 30 mins

VENUE
Esplanade Concert Hall

TICKET PRICE (Exclude Booking Fee)
Standard - S$148, S$128, S$108, S$88, S$68
Box Seat - S$148

omg
OMG
O.M.G.

DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE IS COMIN TO SPORE!!!!!!!!!
I WANTTTTTTT TO GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I WILL FOLLOW U INTO THE DARK, WHERE SOUL MEETS BODY!!!

hearts are rivers.

"I also imagine how it is possible to hate somebody
for so long that something gives way inside you

like a dam, and you may end up threatening the life
of this person, or something else like resignation

takes over, and suddenly you never dreamt that you
could possess the desire to forgive, even love."
- Cyril Wong, "Lightness, even Love", from Unmarked Treasures.

"Some people do not need homes.
for them, any room or floor
will do. They live in travel,
their hearts are rivers."
- Cyril Wong, "People are Looking for Homes", from Unmarked Treasures.


We should all write.
If not poetry, diaries.
If not to improve our English, to better convey what the heart feels and what the mind sees.
To write, is to live.

waste.of.time.

waste.of.time.
i felt like today was sorta wasted. went to Bird Park for the first time ever in my entire life, and realised i love birds. but i hated how they enclosed the owls. they look entrapped. sigh. then i had to go to you-know-where with my barang barang and stayed there. i looked like an idiot on the train. go there to be humiliated by my friend, sweat the whole time. the onli consolation was knowing a stranger who is takin political science and we hit it off well. then it is off to town for a supposed ktv tt nv happened, which dampened pretty much my sat night activities.

the only consolations were eating subway and getting my CHET LAM CD AND POSTER. the dvd was sold out thou. sigh. but the poster is on my table now after scrambling for space and eventually i squeezed it onto my already VERY MESSY HEAP OF STUFF tt is my table. but i love it.


and i found my Kill Bill Vol 1. its with my dearest Prom King.


i realise i dun have to say certain things. if it comes, it comes. if not, its prob not meant to be.

where is my Bill?!?!?!?!

"happy like a dog"
"hungry like a pig"
"sad like a fish"

while searching high and low in my tiny little room sardine-packed with loads of dvdscdsbooksnewspapermagazinesclothesetcetc, i realised this:

I CANT FIND MY PIRATED KILL BILL VOL 1 DVD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


shit man. tt's like one of my all time favourite shows! EVER! and now i cant lend Dionne! grrrrrrrrrr. so here's a shoutout to all my dear friends. if u've got ya hands on a dvd wrapped in cheapskate pirated dvd transparent sleeve, with a cover that looks SOMETHING like this:



... you know who to call. =)


it was fun at work today because:


there's 14 of us workin, if u count the number of bottles. ahhahaha. actually there's only 4 of us.


we had shark fin fr the pasa malam. my fav bitch wrote the following: "do not kill sharks. their fins are being cut and they're left to die themselves...save them!"
step lor cos she ate fish maw soup also.


my fav bitch.
today i learnt tt "smoke without tarek" means smoking without inhaling deep into the lungs, aka a waste of cigarettes. no, i did not catch the habit. she was tellin me about her ex-bf who doesnt know how to smoke.
anw i think i read too many simplistic, hilarious, and narrative blogs full of pic. yea, so here's me tryin to step an exciting day at work. hahahaha. oh well. now here's me tryin to be intellectual (which is jarring i know).



"I believed I began to understand myself
for the first time. The idea of a self

was an astronaut who had been cut
free from his spacecraft and made to float

straight out into a starry nothingness.
For a long time after that, I could not recall

the last time I actually dreamt of flying."
- Cyril Wong, "Flight Dreams", from Unmarked Treasure.

To fly is to dream of the possibilities of a carefree life, unbounded by the expectations and circumstances of society, family and peers. the idea of a self was probably never meant to be expected, or entrapped; and free to fly. but this freedom comes with the perils of the endless depth, with no assurance of ever a safe return.

indulgence

it took me four days of straight-up slacking to realise the true powers of regret. my room is still a heap of mess, heck, it's messier now given i took out my army barang barang in preparation for Sat's possible recall manning. idiots.



the idiots at STARHUB are not giving me my completion bonus. they're blardy makin this difficult for me. i swear tt if i do not get my $1000 for fulfilling tt 9-mth of contract CCC hell, i am goin to write to every single local newspaper possible, in as many languages i can, and then i will protest outside HAW PAR centre if i have to. if thats what it takes to give them eternal damnation and a taste of Loo's hell. IDIOTS.



and i realise that this friend has taught me alot recently. i got my love for loud music from her, which is good cos it keeps me in a good mood. i extended my ah-lian vocab to include "step", "niao ji niao lan", "happy like dog siol", and "hello chinese fooooooooood" (ala Dude where's my Car). also, i learnt tt i will nv go to "ji le shi jie" because i have no "xiu1". so yea. eternal damnation for me as well, together with my Faye Wong cds 6 feet under.

ha!

OK SERIOUSLY. i need to read more chinese in order to catch up with my chineeeeeeese friends (not CHINA friends) and understand what they write. i am disgraced at my standard of writing (see above) and shall read more and write better. i am serious.

蕭敬騰

蕭敬騰!!!
the album is out today, and for those who have yet to get ya hands on it, here's a teaser, and IMO his best performance. i know i know this is second time i posting this, but i tink damn good can. enjoy.



at the recent s-pop gig. eric moo sld be shot for sayin those rude words.

living in, living out

Recently i've been thinking of migrating elsewhere, moving away from the place i've called home for a quarter of my life and experiencing new cultures and meeting new people. i've nurtured anti-Singapore thoughts for quite some time. small clues like watchin SATC and the Big Apple's bustling scenes further nourished that idea. Of course right now i am not in the financial state to do so, but maybe in a few years time i just might.

it might be the imminent arrival of NDP that wavered my ever-growing thrist for grass on the other side. somehow, i'm not so sure anymore.

I watched the Spore Short Film Finalists, tt participated at this yr's SIFF, yesterday with PJ. nat flew our kite. some of the selection were good, some not so. and of cos our fav was Keluar Baris by Boo Jun Feng. PJ's a groupie for watching it 3 times already. but then again, it was so beautifully shot i wldnt have minded watchin it 5 times myself. while watching, i felt that BJF was ready to do a full-length feature film, and that i actually loved this more than Katong Fugue. KF was, imo, abstract and sometimes unrealistic. KB was funny, relevant, and picture perfect, so pretty u can eat every scene literally (even without its lead actor haha).

KB, for me, was more than a boy's reluctance to go thru NS. it played like a paradox: a love-hate relationship with Singapore. NS is a rite-of-passage every 18 yr old male is thrust to go through, the National Stadium is being teared down and can never return to its former glory, the typical Asian family and its dynamics. yet there was also a love for the familiar. the perfect frame of a lamp-post and a tree, so familiar along the expressway, more so resonant on my way back on cab yesterday night. the opening frame of the Changi control tower against sky a lovely shade of blue so clear. the urban views while travelling on the bus, and the rides where views and thoughts spawned. the sight of an aeroplane, and wishin we were on that plane, on our way away from all of these.

putting Kallang Roar behind was a smart piece of programming, for there's nothin more patriotic than the national football team. but KB resonated for its subtlty and familiarity, the smart frames and shots and its beautiful cinematography. there was no resolve in the end, which PJ felt was what made it diff fr KF and her onli criticism. but KB made me feel like there's still beauty in this small island tt awaits discovery.

堕落

作词:王菲 /作曲:王菲

这世界看来很快乐 看不出难过 始终笑着沉默
你不慌不忙 你自然(而)坦荡 脱下了伪装 摘去了信仰

你不愿多说话 你想放纵一下 没甚么可怕 没甚么放心不下
痛苦地享乐 犹豫着堕落
左右不了诱惑 你才拒绝寂寞 你没有错 因为没有谁对谁过
心安理得 于是你堕落
来啊 来啊 我陪你 来啊 来啊 来啊 继续 继续

我没甚么可说 想不清后果 也不准备自责
我不慌不忙 自然(而)坦荡 绝望地逆流而上 甘心地自投罗网
没有别的想法 只想放纵一下 就当没发现 美好背后的虚假
敷衍着灵魂 勉强地挣扎
甚么也没错过 其实一无所获 谈不上失落 陶醉和麻醉交错
从这里开始 无意识地堕落

麻醉 - 王菲

作词:林夕 /作曲:周凤岭

完美 甚么完美
你不敢追 我怎么追
我想 为所欲为
你不反对 谁敢反对

无所谓 无所谓
来麻醉我清醒的体会
无所谓 无所谓
来麻醉我所有的滋味

乐极就算会生悲
你不惭愧 我不后悔
如果繁华给摧毁 让我好好的睡 好好的睡

你和我 反正会殊途同归
如果一切变得乏味
我不介意半途而废

伤悲 何来伤悲
我才不会 我怎么会
喝醉 我想喝醉
不管那是 一杯开水

我怕 - 王菲

我怕到再见那一天降临　你与我已化作岩石满　裂痕
也怕我会吻到你的皱纹　宁可相信世上有不死永生

我怕看你那善变的眼神　也怕爱你爱到麻木了我灵魂
更怕每晚发觉我一个人　没法靠沉默去记住你的声音

愿我可保佑　随梦境的来临　梦里可感到跟你相拥的气温
愿你可保佑　沉睡中的情人　梦里可将彼此世界更加拉近

我怕永远记挂你这个人　更怕看见你会从幻觉里下沉
最怕你两鬓染满风与尘　除非这个世上有不死永生

再次听见你说你的爱人　我怕我会糊涂地认错了别人
也怕远处那细碎的钢琴　任我从迷梦里错认你的声音

CSS Alumni Chalet 2008 @ Aloha Changi - 070608

CSS AALUMNI CHALET @ ALOHA CHANGI - 070608 – 080608

I hate chalet hangovers: the pent-up grievances at things gone wrong, the inability to quickly shift back to the normal routines of daily life, and the reminiscence of images both perfect and not. I realise that if shit is being handed to you and you willingly took it, you should really suck it up and fulfil the role.
Only 22 odd people turned up, out of the 30 odd that RSVPed with positive replies. The majority came from the batch that graduated last year, with the addition of a few young ones like Song Hui and Seng Chuan, Ian and Elwin, Weilong and Joanna.

Throughout the chalet i felt like a lonely soul. I kept myself busy with food and fire, cleanliness and set-ups. I was fine until the moment i took a plate of fried rice and sat down beside the fire, at a newly vacant seat, and then i realise that i was alone in all this. None from my batch turned up. I couldn’t sit with the teachers because i do not want to be arrowed further. With each mouthful of that starchy fried rice comes the painful realisation that i belonged nowhere. I was alone with no one to depend on. I realised that keeping myself busy was not so bad after all.

Throughout the time i kept asking mself: “what would VJ have done in this situation?” When Mdm Chang, or was it Auntie Jenny, signalled to me the arrival of Mr Henry Seow, i was stunned for a moment and wasn’t sure what i was supposed to do. It was a feeling of reluctance at doing something i wasn’t supposed to, and a feeling of having to do the right thing because no one else was there. I shoke Mr Henry Seow’s hands and welcomed him. He always has an extended grip that lasts beyond mine, which always makes me embarrassed to be the first to loosen my grip. In a way it’s a sign of weakness. I find myself subconsciously avoiding him for the rest of the evening, unwilling to explain the happenings of the alumni, or listen to supposed plans to do this or that. In the end, he approached me about Mrs Yeo’s farewell, and inevitable i was targeted. Another list of roles i need to fulfil. What wold VJ have done?

As i sat there watching cliques settle into fun and leisure, i asked myself whether VJ would have mingled with them and get to know them the way he did with our batch, or would he leave them alone and focus on himself and the logistic aspects.
VJ wasn’t really a huge influence in my life. I guess these thoughts surfaced because all these while he was the one dealing with it. And suddenly, when even Yoke Chong was not around, i found myself thrust into such a position. In the end i caved in to my self-inflicted trauma and decided to leave the kids alone. I could not find the strength to get to know them better, nor try to blend into any groups. I find myself tongue-tied beyond the surface questions of “where are u schooling” and “what class were u from?”

These roles and responsibilities would not seem so pressurising had i people i can depend on. I know that i can always depend on my batch for help, but that night, i find myself alone. Coming off after the discussion session about the state of the alumni the day before didn’t help either.

Of course,it wasn’t all bad. There was food for everyone, which was a minor blessing. My comforts came from seeing Auntie Jenny, having a great chat with Weilong, successfully convincing SongHui to be next year’s Prom chairperson, passing by Changi, and getting to know a few juniors with great potential in life.
Auntie Jenny was the closest to comfort there. Seeing her brought back a sense of familiarity, that i guess comes from working with her for Prom. In a way, it always felt like i could depend on her in any situation. In another way, she has become more like a friend than a mother. She will be back again to help with Prom, only because it’s us who’s doing it again. Sometimes i’m embarrassed by how she is sometimes sandwiched between us and the PTN, while other times i find myself amazed at the amount of stress she can handle.

The chat i had with Weilong that night was the longest we’ve had in all the years that i’ve known him combined. It all started with watching Hilary Swank in P.S I LOVE YOU. He can’t imagine her in anything else after watching BOYS DON’T CRY, a film that i’ve been wanting to watch but couldn’t get my hands on. (the R21 film is available in his sch lib?!?!) we talked largely about movies and music, Radiohead to Foo Fighters, Idol to youtube, Cook to Archie, Kung Pow/Sch of Rock to “How can Mariah Carey’s 18th number 1 hit be called ‘Touch My Body’?!”, Clint Eastwood movies to Spielberg movies. I like to summarise my movie plots in 3 lines max. He likes to go on and on about each plot detail that seemed significant in his eyes and narration. I dunno why he suddenly opened up, but it felt like a much belated chat. But there wasn’t a better time than this. I believe that it happened only then for a purpose, and i am glad that we’ve established a relationship that might be good for prom.

SongHui has the greatest potential to carry on the Alumni’s line. And while casually talking about Orientation, he mentioned that he would rather organise prom than Orientation, or something along tt line, which led to me casually asking him to understudy Weilong, and him casually agreeing. Something along that line. Afterward i told him of the seriousness of the matter and what is required of him, and yet he shows no signs of relegation. It was a huge relief not just for me, but for Kaiyan and Weilong as well for having someone willingly agreeing to take over the job next year. It made me hopeful of things once more.

Passing by Changi and a portion of the road that i used to travel while booking in to BMT relinquished my hidden memories of that period. I saw fathers who drive their child home, with an ungrateful look on the child’s face. I saw the smiles from booking out and the short-lived freedom. I saw the factories on the road that reminded me of many lonely book-in nights, with thoughts about what to do on my next book out. I miss army life in that instant. Not the heat of the jungle and the horrible things i endured, but the more tangible stuff like growing up and learning through suffering, team spirit and bonding, friendship and self discovery. Life was so much simpler then.

Youths have potential more than anything else. The promise of greatness lies in everyone, and i was glad to see it surface in some of them. I was glad to see initiative and the sensitivity to the situation. I got to know some new faces, and further my understanding of those of that i briefly encountered during prom. It wasn’t all a pretty sight, but i am glad that there are a few people whom i know i can trust, at least until proven otherwise. Seeing this batch made me hopeful of the future state of the alumni.

This chalet has been an eye-opener in some ways. I’ve decided that i will stick on with the prom committee instead of letting it manifest on its own, that i will not let it die. Of course i will give them ample space for learning and making mistakes, and i will try not to poke my nose into matters. I trust KY and WL not to disappoint, and most likely even surpassing my standards. But most of all i decided to stay only to know more of them personally.

I sacrificed my body to the utmost irritating insects, and got my precious Sandy Lam dvd scratched because it was left on the table. I realised that as much as i felt trapped, this is something that has to be done. Someone has to organise this in order for people to attend. Someone has to do it. And unfortunately i just happen to be the one in the best position to do this because i did prom last year. it is a chain reaction, but i realise that perhaps too much is at stake to let matters suffer a gradual death/rebirth. There is still hope yet in this, and i do believe that given proper time, management, and organisation, it will thrive. I felt like the foundation has been set for great things with this batch, and i hate to see it die because of bad organisation and nurturing. I need it to grow, to manifest. And most importantly they need a leader other than me.

random / Alumni state of mind

Yien and I were talking, briefly, about some of the difficulties our respective alumni wings have been facing. here's quoting a classic line from him.

"we got our own professional careers and lives.
we are serving the school in their interest and our interest of preserving a common shared sense of culture in whihc we call the commonwealthian spirit.
not an appendage to be treated like as if we are a burden."

i have things to say, but shall leave it till after the alumni chalet.

WA SODAGREEN IS COMIN! I WANA GOOOOOOOO!!!!!
and gary also.but darn ex man....


GARY - 12 JULY
EASON!! - 26 JULY
SODAGREEN - 2 AUG
FIR - 8 AUG

SINGFEST
2 AUG - travis, simple plan,lost prophet, new found glory, crowned king, dearest.
3 AUG - alicia keys, one republic, jason mraz, jamie scott, rick astley, panic at the disco, stacie orrico.

"What i've learned"

its 3.29am. i am tappin Mac's wireless. i am tired. i am not making sense. but this fast internet connection is hard to resist. i shall try to blog.

the following are some quotes taken from Esquire mag's recent "what i've learned" special issue, featuring some interviews from the "What I've Learned" series over the last few years. here's some funny and hopefully, insightful quotes.



"If you start out looking at somebody, wondering whether he's good or bad, i think you're starting out in the wrong direction. i think we're all good and we're all bad.

Cruelty is all out of ignorance. if you know what's in store for you, you wouldnt hurt anybody, because whatever you do comes back much more forceful than you send it out." - Willie Nelson, Dec 98.



"From the beginning, i knew intuitively that if nothing else, music was safe, and that nobody could tell me anything about it. music didnt need a middleman, whereas all the other things in school needed some kind of explanation" - Eric Clapton, Oct 9, 2007


"Love is an obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage.

The dread of lonelines is greater than the fear of bondage, so we get married.

In my next life, i want to come back as either a proctologist, so i can deal with all the assholes i meet, or as a matador, so i can deal with all the bullshit.

Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, and small minds discuss people." - Phil Spector, sept 99. (he is suspected for murder)


"Never tell your wife she's lousy in bed. she'll go out and get a second opinion." - Rodney Dangerfield, Oct 2000.


"A woman once asked me: "what is your greatest time on earth?" and i said: "from one to nine. after that, it's been all downhill." she wassurprised and asked me why. i said, because my mother loved me, my brother loved me, and everyday after school we would play ball in the streets. life was sweet potatoes, punchball, and ice cream. before nine, i didnt do a damn thing but smile. i didnt even know we were poor. then at nine, i found out about homework, and it never stopped. fromnine untilnow, at eighty, there are tasks. duties. things are expected. people are paying more than a hundred dollars to see a show. they expect a great show.i gotta deliver" - Mel Brookes, producer, oct 18, 2007.



"Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die." - Carrie Fisher, aka Princess Leia, Jan 02.


"most monster movies are not horror movies. they're about outsiders. i never saw Frankenstein or King Kong or the Creature from the Black Lagoon as bad guys. they were the good guys. it was always the humans that were the motherfuckers. it was the bad B-movie actor dressed in a rubber suit who made me cry when he got killed.

i sometimes meet people who say, I'm going to be this and i'm goin to be that. you feel kind of bad for them because they're limiting themseves. it's different from having an enthusiasm for something and seeing where life takes you.i feel lucky to never have planned to go into what i did. i always just said: "all i want to do is make things, whether it's drawing or writing." if i'd said, "i'm going to be a director," it probably wouldnt have happened." - Tim Burton, Director, Oct 25, 2007

"One time a guy told me that he bought his wife to see Pirates of the Carribbean. she had lost her motor skills. i forgot what you call it. it's not autism. Jesus, they made a movie about it. you know, where you recede and your functions start to go. anyway, they're watching the film, and when Captain Jack Sparrow came on the screen, she started to laugh. this guy said he hadnt heard that laugh in years. and so he took her back to see the film repeatedly. for some reason Captain Jack made her laugh everytime. that's right up there." - Johnny Depp, Actor, 44, Oct 25, 2007.




i think Johnny Depp was refering to Alzheimer's Disease, and the movie "Away From Her."